Hey! It’s your girl Critical Eye, coming to you today to vent. Today’s vent: Literary Trolls

What’s a Literary Troll?

A Literary Troll is a failed writer who stalks the social networking sites looking for successful authors they can pick at and on in an effort to make thesmelves feel better, instead of feeling like the failures they are. Before I go any further, let me define a failed writer: One who has tried for years to get published by mainly the big six, but because their writing isn’t good enough, this hasn’t happened. They’ve tried to self-publish but those sales flopped too and they are angry. While there may be many failed writers, literary torlls hold special characteristics:

1) They are narcissistic.

2) They are sarcastic.

3) They join social groups they have no experience in just so they could look for someone to attack.

4) They don’t have a job or a life and spend every waking moment on social networking sites.

5) They are so bitter that they attack any and every writer they see that has a possible leg up on them.

6) They try to give advice about publishing and writing but half the time their advice is wrong.

7) They attack you if you try to correct them.

They criticize constantly instead of trying to teach and be helpful.

9) They go around spreading lies about you although, they have no personal experience with you.

10) They are so addicted to wanting you to fail, but their curiosity gets the best of them and they buy your book, not realizing they are supporting you and not hurting you.

As writers, we’ve all come across literary trolls. They can’t help themselves. They just have to attack. They are so degrading, that they turn what should be a socially pleaseant marketing experience into a negative one. They are so annoying that we leave groups, just so we don’t have to deal with them. If you’re lucky, the group manager blocks them, but most times you’re not that lucky.

Freedom of Speech and the Internet has drawn out and provided the ignorant with an outlet to annoy us all. We can’t market our books because of these trolls! We can’t voice our opinions because of these trolls! We can’t even give a compliment to a fellow writer because of these trolls! Something has got to give! Sadly, the social networks just tell us to ignore them. Ignore them? That’s like telling me to walk away from someone who just slapped me. It’s not going to happen! Ignoring them is not realistic, espeically once they become stalkers.

So what do you do? Keep being successful. The more successful you become, the angrier they get. Don’t run, don’t hide, instead welcome the hate. The more they hate you, the better they make you. They draw attention to you and your website. Everybody needs a hobby and you’re theirs. I know it’s annoying, but those trolls aren’t going anywhere. Which is just fine with me, because if they can use freedom of speech, so can I.

Until next time-Critical Eye!

Most writers have a dream of being a New York Times Bestselling Author. Most have this dream, but it’s a dream that will never come true. Why? Lack of business skills. Publishing is a business. It has assets, liabilities and deals with gains and losses. It’s not a passionless business, but it’s still a business none the less. Ask a non-author business owner/entrepreneur or author whose turned into a business owner/entrepreneur and they will tell you that one of the keys to their success is having a viable business plan.  I hear you already, “I’m a writer. I don’t care about the business stuff. I just want to write.” Then you don’t want to make any money. You don’t want your books in bookstores, you don’t want anyone other than your grandmother Suzy or your Uncle Joe to read and buy your book.

To even get into a bookstore such as Barnes and Nobles, you need a business plan. They need to know the who, what, when, where, why and how you’re going to makret your books and get them to move off the shelves and into the homes and pocketbooks of buyers. They require a makreting plan and you find a marketing plan inside of a business plan. Try to selly our book on consignment and you will likely find the same requirement. Stores need to make money, you need to sell your books and they want to know how you plan on accomplishing both.

So what is an author business plan?

A business plan is a written statement of business goals that detail an existing or proposed venture. It explains the vision, current status, expected needs, defined markets, the reason why your goals are attainable, the plan for reaching these goals, the plan for raising capital and your estimated profit projections. A business plan will determine not just how much time and energy you put into marketing your book, but how much money it will make sense to spend. If you don an author business plan while you’re writing your book, then you will see whether or not it is wise to spend $700 to publish 400 books. Your plan will help you determine whether or not you can actually sell all those books or whether you’ll be wasting your money.

It also gives you the opportunity to create a startegy for writing and promoting a book that will sell, as it forces you to realize each stage in the book selling process. Creating such a strategy will help you decided exactly how you should proceed. It will clarify what steps to take and the necessary resources you will need to help you. It will also help you realize the weaknesses in your strategy that you must address.

When you write a business plan, you are adding another life line to your books. You are providing your book with the opportunity to live the best life it can. Creating an author business plan allows you to see the possibility of creating merchandise, newsletters, keynote events, private events, info-products, consulting, etc. With an author business plan, your book is no longer the only source of revenue, but a piece of a more significant venture.

With a plan, you are leveraging your book as a tool to drive people to your author funnel that can lead to more revneu. Creating an author business plan is something that all writers can do, regardless of whether you are into fiction or non-fiction. Fiction writers need to figure out how they can make their characters a household name and how they are going to let everyone know that their characters exist. The best way to do this is to create a business plan. Creating a business plan puts things into perspective and not just for yourself but for the Barnes and Nobles bookstore and even the publishing house you are trying to get to publish your book. Nowadays, to get a publishing contract with a traditional publsiher, they need to know who you know, what you now, and how you are going to aid in selling your own books. When a publisher decides to publish your book, they are agreeing to finance your book’s publication by paying the coast of its printing and distribution. They need to feel confident that they are not wasting their time or money. With an author business plan, you can sell them your book idea.

As an author, you spend a lot of time writing your book. You also envision book signing’s and bestseller awards. To get those best seller awards and sold out book signing’s, will require you to get in touch with the business side of publsihing. An author business plan is necessary, regardless of whether you self-publish or traditionally publish. Taking the time to create this plan, can change your career and ensure that you career goes where you want it to go.

ZLS Publishing, LLC

The other day, I came across a request from a writer who had written a book and was upset because no publishers had come running and begging to publish her book. They had supposedly been talking about it all over the net and even sent some publishers a letter of inquiry. No one had bit. They even tried agents and went through the same process and even they didn’t bite. They were truly upset and confused at the fact that neither agent or publisher had begged to see more!

This is as bad as the writers who I’ve heard walk up in some publishing houses swearing they’ve created the next best thing since butter. Can we scream vanity! It’s no wonder publishers don’t take unsolicited manuscripts. Some of you are the worst with your over confident ass attitudes. What happened to being humble? This writer wanted suggestions on how to get the publishers and agents attention aside from throwing a tantrum and getting madder than they were. They swore they had written a book that would:

1) bring world wide attention to the publisher (even more if well known)

2) make both them and the publisher very rich (richer if the publisher is well known)

If they got an agent it would be the same thing. They swore that the world, the publisher and the agent NEED their book. Really? They need your book? No, I think you need to sit down and take a lesson in a few things:

1) Humility. Confidence is one thing, cockiness is another. No publisher wants to work with a cocky ass author. That’s as bad as working with a cocky ass musician. Cocky equals difficult and high maintenance. Nobody wants to deal with that especially if the only one whose sworn and know that they’ve made it-is you.

2) Publishers don’t run, they walk. No publisher is going to run up to you and go, “Oh my God! Oh my God! You did it, you’ve written a book! Can I have it please? Can I have it please?” If they happen to get a wind that you’ve written something great and it fits within their mold, they will approach you, but only do it once. Twice if you’re lucky, after that they will move on to someone else. No publisher is going to beg you for your manuscript. They don’t need your book, they want it. They don’t want it bad enough to go through hoops to get it from you. The attitude is that, maybe your book really isn’t for their company. So come off your high horse with this attitude that a publisher should run to you. Why should they, when there are writers who they can walk to or will run and walk to them.

3) No publisher or agent may want it because it sucks. Yes, I said it: Your writing sucks! This is a hard pill for most writers to swallow but nine out of ten times, it’s true. This is why self-publishing was invented. It was invented for those with crappy books to still get an opportunity to be published. Most writers don’t want to get their books edited properly and they don’t take constructive criticism. They are too emotionally attached to their books and don’t know how to take good advice. So if you’ve sent your book to a publisher or an agent and they didn’t respond or in this case-come running and begging, it’s probably because your writing sucks. Some publishers and agents will tell you, some won’t.

If you want your book to be taken serious and considered for traditional publishing, there are a few things you need to do:

1) Change your attitude. Come to the table less cocky, more humble. Humble does not mean ass kissing, it just means coming to the table a lot nicer and bringing down your ego a huge notch.

2) Get a professional to look at your book before you send it to a publisher or an agent. I said professional! I didn’t say your mother, your aunt, your grandmother or your next door neighbor, I said a professional. One with experience in the business of publishing and books. This may mean you having to spend some money to get it looked at, but if you can spend money on a new outfit or a new hairdo, you can spend money on getting a professional critique of your manuscript.

3)  Make sure it’s professionally edited. Yes, there goes that word-professional-again. There are a few editing services out there, some are better than others. You need to do your research to find the best for your manuscript. The point is that you still need to have it professionally edited. I talked to an author the other day who said that when she submitted her manuscript to the publisher they were excited and took it almost immediately because they saw she had done the right thing and had it edited. They were thrilled at the fact that it didn’t need any more editing and that it was ready to go.

Being humble and being professionally prepared will bring you much further than being cocky and unprepared. While you will not have publishers and agents running to you, it may have them walking. Besides, walking is better than running anway, no worries about tripping and falling.

Until my eye sees again!

As a publisher and a writer, I often here many myths about this industry. With the industry going through rapid changes such as it is, these myths are becoming more rapid.

Myth 1: It’s damn near impossible for a first-time author to land a publishing contract. 

So not true! So not true! So not true! Yes, you will hear people say this and you’ll even see it written many of times. No, it’s not easy but there are things you can do to make this dream a reality. Make sure your book has been edited well. Make sure you create a marketing plan, write out a book proposal and study the industry. You should also consider the small and medium-sized publishers who are more willing to work and develop a first-time author. Yes, it’s a dream to be published by Simon and Schuster, Random House, Penguin, etc., and see your name in lights, but don’t sleep on a small and medium-sized publisher out either. You never know, what they can do. Remember, the big guy started out the little guy and look what he has become. 

Myth 2: Publishers only accept manuscripts through agents. 

Not! There are tons of publishers who prefer to deal directly with the author.  Key word being tons. There are lots of small and medium-sized publishers out there. Part of the issue is that writers only want to deal with the really big traditional publishers-Simon & Schuster, Penguin, etc. The fact is that some of those majors will only deal with a first-time author if they have an agent. The writer needs to broaden their publishing horizon and think about working with a small and medium-sized publisher. Writer’s Market (a reference book for writers and authors) lists over 1,000 publishing companies. More than ninety percent of those publishers do not require that an author have an agent. 

Myth 3: If I have an agent, I’m guaranteed a publishing contract. 

Uh no! Not really. While, the agent may think you have a decent enough book, a publisher might not feel the same way.  They may think your book needs more work, it may not be written well, or it may not fit their needs at the present time. The other thing is that, while there are some really good agents, there are also some agents walking around in sheeps clothing. They are unscrupulous and ineffective. They don’t really know the industry and are more interested in getting a fee from you, than doing something for you. 

Myth 4:  I don’t have to edit my manuscript because the publisher is going to spend the time and money editing it for me.  

What? Who came up with this stuff? A major part of whether or not your manuscript gets accepted is how the manuscript looks. A manuscript filled with lots of grammatical errors is a pain in the behind to read. It shows unprofessionalism and will most likely end up in the shredder or in the garbage. Yes, your manuscript will go through the hands of an editor, but the editor and the publisher will be very happy if they have very little editing to do. The less editing they have to do, the better it is for you. Hire a good editor before you submit your manuscript. Again, your manuscript is your baby, would you send your baby out looking like any old thing just because you know they are going to spit up on the outfit? I hope not! Make a good impression the first time and send in the very best manuscript you can. 

Myth 5: Bookstores won’t carry self-published or fee-based POD published books.  

As a publisher whose seen some really bad self-published books in the bookstore, I almost wish this was true, but it’s not.  If the demand is big enough, they will carry it. Also, if you want the bookstore to carry your self-published book, you must! must! must! have a marketing plan for it. Those are your two options-either get it to the point where the demand is big enough for it that the bookstore is wondering why they don’t have it in their stores, or create a good marketing plan for it and present it to the bookstore convincing them that they should carry the book. You should also focus your attention on the local independent bookstores in your area. Build a relationship with them while you are writing the book so that by the time your book is ready for publication, they will be a lot more comfortable and willing to have your book in their bookstores. Authors make the mistake of seeing the book in publishing format and then approaching the bookstore owner. They are reluctant to want to do business with you because their question is, “what have you done for my business before your book got published?” If you can’t answer that, then you will have a much harder time getting your book into their store. Being selfless, instead of selfish will get you a lot further in your book publishing endeavors. 

Myth 6: No one will review my book because it’s a self-published or POD published book. 

Huh? Where’d this one come from? The worldwide web is your friend. Figure out what your book topic is and find the magazine that relates to your book topic. Find out who the editor of that magazine is and offer to send them a review copy. Another avenue is book clubs. Yes, you have the major book clubs out there who are very picky about the books they select and have a long waiting list of books to be read, but you also have the smaller book clubs out there who are hungry, willing and waiting to read and review your book. There are also book review services, where you pay them to read your book and they put their review on websites such as Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.com and other book purchasing websites who allow book reviews. You can also look for book blogs on the web. These blogs review books because they love books. Some include: 

• Buzz, Balls & Hype
• Becky’s Book Review
• Worducopia

Yes, we would all love to have our books read by The New York Times but the reality is that until that happens, don’t ignore “the little guys.” They are the ones who will be buying your books and really telling their friends about your book. 

Myth 7: Writing the book is the hardest part of the process. 

Not! Nope! Not even close! When you have to promote, market and even get your own distribution, writing is the easy part. Convincing people to read and buy your book is not easy. Nor is figuring out ways to get your book out there and bought. When you realize that publishing is a business and far from an easy task, you will realize that writing is the easy part. It’s like women who’ve given birth-they say labor is the easy part. Raising a productive, ethically responsible child is the hard part. If your book is your baby, then you need to look at it this way as well. Writing is like birth, it’s hard but easy, but the real work begins with raising, promoting, nurturing and marketing your baby!

There is a harsh reality about being an author that most authors don’t want to admit: authorship is a business.  Yes, you can dream and imagine a world of creativity, but if you have any hopes of becoming a successful author, you must realize that authorship is a business.  Once, you’ve decided that you want to be published or even self-publish yourself, you must! must! must! put on a business person’s hat.

What do you mean authorship is a business?

Most writers come into the publishing arena believing that they’ve written the next best thing since sliced bread. They are looking for someone to believe in them and their book and they don’t want to put in the hardwork necessary to make their book a success.  Most authors are lazy: They want to submit their book to a publisher, get the book published and expect the publisher to either do the rest or just tell them what they want them to do, so they can go do it.  They don’t want to create a marketing plan, promote or work on distribution for THEIR book, nor do they want to take any initiative to go out and about to bring their book in front of customers. 

Personally and professionally, I’ve never understood this sort of thinking.  Your book is your baby.  Your baby gets accepted to a great pre-school.  Do you stop teaching or raising your baby because they’ve gotten accepted to this school or do you continue to nurture and teach your baby?  It’s the same concept.  To think that just because your book is or has been published means that your job is done is absolutely ridiculous. 

Whether you like it or not, the reality is that-it is your job to keep nurturing your book.  Nurturing by ways of promoting and marketing it.  The publisher, like the pre-school, is only going to do so much.  As for believing in you-the publisher, like the pre-school, believes your baby has potential or they wouldn’t be bothering.  Now how much potential is between you and the publisher. 

Just like your baby is not the only child in the pre-school, your book is not the only one being published by the publisher.  If you want your baby to stand out, there are certin things you have to work on with your baby to make that happen.  In the world of publishing, it’s marketing and promotions.  So, when I hear writers complain about what the publisher isn’t doing for their baby, I wonder about their parenting skills.

What kind of parent are you?